


City of Stars

by MyFairAlice



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Awkwardness, Bullying, Depression, Drinking, F/F, LGBTQ Themes, Musicals, My First Fanfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Drugs, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, attempt at fluff, movies - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-04 12:24:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12771009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyFairAlice/pseuds/MyFairAlice
Summary: It all started with a little nerd being bullied, from which a mutual love for cinematography blossomed ... long, passionate discussions ensue and maybe, just maybe a bit more ...*Currently on Hiatus*(mainly Lapidot with some Pearlmethyst and occasionally Connverse on the side)





	1. Good Morning

The brick wall meets her with an intense pressure, so much so she fears her shoulders to be dislocated at the very least …

“Let’s see what ya got, specs”, the brute barks with a complacent smirk. Her massive hands quickly nab Peridot’s backpack and start roaming through its contents. Clearly not satisfied, the taller girl opts to turn the bag upside down and let everything fall to the ground, throwing the empty fabric in between the blonde’s feet right after.

Skimming over the mess of keys, a cloth to clean her glasses and other random stuff, Jasper bends her knees and grabs two pieces of paper and a power bank. “Nothing but a pile of junk, should’ve figured. At least this can get me a few bucks … and a sappy romance is always a good way to impress the chicks”, she chuckles.

Peridot’s muscles start to hurt from being strained that much. “Stay put, she got what she wanted, she’ll leave you alone soon”, is what she tries to calm herself down with.

“Thanks, Greene. Till next time!”, Jasper bobbed her head and made a quick gesture like tipping her non-existent hat before shoving her into the wall a last time and finally walking off.

Though she rationally acknowledges the danger to be over, Peridot can’t move, except for the intensifying shiver taking over her whole body. Eyeballs starting to get hot, her vision becoming more and more blurry from the tears forming in her eyes. After a few moments her knees give in and she sinks to the ground, at last being able to move her extremities and gather her things.

Luckily she kept her wallet in her jacket and Jasper didn’t bother to search her completely. Still, the power bank, the first item she ever purchased from money she made all by herself, and her bus ticket were gone … what hurt her even more was the loss of the cinema ticket though. She could deal with rationing her electric power and walking the distance between her home and school for the remainder of the month until she could afford a new ticket – maybe she would even start riding her bike again.

But the movie was a group activity she had been looking forward to for a few weeks now. It wasn’t every other week that your tutor convinced the school board to finance a field trip like this; especially for an extracurricular activity instead of a core course.

Peridot manages to hold back all tears that swelled up inside of her but one … it burns rolling along her cheek as she stows away the last few belongings in her now dirt-ridden bag. Now she only has to think of an excuse to present Mrs. Quartz for not going … knowing the woman, she can already see her sad face in front of her, though she’ll be sympathetic and understanding nonetheless. Peridot can’t risk drawing attention to her bully … she’s 21 already for god’s sake! She has to deal with it on her own … or at least avoid making it worse by putting it out there …

It’s a shame she won’t get to see “La La Land” in theaters, but if it’s really as good as people say, it’ll have somewhat of the same effect even on a small laptop screen on Netflix a few months later …

Swinging the backpack over her shoulder, she swipes away the single tear and starts walking.

 

* * *

 

Well, five kilometers didn’t sound as much as it actually was … effort-wise and time-wise for a non-athlete like Peridot. Riding the bike this morning also reduced both factors only so much … “stupid Jasper”, she thinks.

The bittersweet finish of the day was her usually loved cinematography class … today consists of choreography in musical films, to which their joint showing of “La La Land” would follow. For everyone except Peridot of course.

Peridot wasn’t big on dancing herself, feeling rather clunky and out of place every time she came around and did try. But musicals always made her feel like part of the troupe, like it didn’t matter how she looked, as long as she followed her emotions …

Musicals brought out the hidden sentimental aspect of her otherwise stoic personality. “Maybe it isn’t so bad to not watch the movie in such a big crowd after all”, at least Peridot didn’t have to try to conceal her enjoyment over mushy love songs and dance numbers.

As her mind wanders, she notices way too late that all her peers were packing their things and forming little groups, some already leaving the class room. Ripping her eyes from the displayed picture of Marilyn Monroe in “Some Like It Hot”, Peridot quickly stuffs her notepad in her bag and moves to the front of the class to speak to Mrs. Quartz.

“Hey, P, ya coming or what?”, a snarky voice echoes through the room. Peridot turns around to see Amethyst smile; behind her a tall and skinny woman with blue hair – Lapis Lazuli, Peridot could remember her name being. If it wasn’t for the course they took together for the last couple of months, or her being the captain of their school's successful swim team, then at least from Steven introducing her to their friend group a few weeks back.

“Well …”, Peridot starts.

“Sounds like someone’s hesitant”, a joyous, but rational voice behind the blonde intervenes, “I thought you would be on cloud nine to come watch the movie after the loving looks you threw at my presentation today”, Mrs. Quartz grinned at her, albeit with a touch of sadness at the notion of what Peridot would say next.

“I wish I could, but my boss spontaneously asked me to help out on a short notice …”, Peridot’s a freelancer and planned her work schedule around this date specifically since watching the trailer and learning that the course would watch it together.

“Oh, that’s a pity …”, Mrs. Quartz replies. Peridot predicted her expression perfectly, though she isn’t too proud of that achievement.

“C’mon, P! You’ve been talking about this film for eons now!”, curse her loose mouth and Amethyst remembering the most random little details about their conversations.

Feeling put on the spot, Peridot shuffles her feet a little. This would’ve been worse enough with just Mrs. Quartz, why did Amethyst have to barge in as well? Also Lapis is mutely staring at her out of the corner of her eye, which gives her a weird feeling. “I know … but I really can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t …”, Peridot doesn’t know how else to escape the situation, so she opts to stare at her feet and fiddle with her fingers.

“So, next time I guess! See ya!”, Amethyst says after a few moments, “L, you’re coming with, though, right?”, already marching towards the school entrance.

Peridot looks up and catches a last glimpse of Lapis’ piercing grey eyes that were surprisingly focused on her. “Yeah, wait for me!”, she shouts after Amethyst, then turning back to the blonde, “See you tomorrow, Peri!”, before running after the small Latina.

“Huh, she never called me Peri before …”, they haven’t really talked at all outside of their friend group … and even there Lapis was a rather quiet individual. Peridot is just a little perplexed before turning back to Mrs. Quartz and adding, “I’m really sorry, I would’ve loved to see it, especially after today’s lesson!”

Mrs. Quartz just waves with her hand apologetically, “Don’t worry about it. It’s completely voluntary and you know that”, she offers a smile, which still makes Peridot feel guilty. “Now, if you excuse me, as professional as I have to look, I don’t want to miss the movie either!”, she says, grabbing her bag. She waves Peridot a goodbye and leaves the small girl on her own.

Wondering how an adult can still be this cheerful, despite all the other tutor’s seemingly despising their jobs, Peridot makes her way to her bike.

 

* * *

 

The day went by pretty fast. After the straining bike tour back home, the blonde decided to finish a paper that was due in a few days and reward herself with playing some videogames after.

That was … until her phone buzzed. Puzzled, Peridot grabs the device and types in the code. She rarely gets any notifications except for the group chat, which she muted for obvious reasons (aka Amethyst being her loud self).

Upon seeing the name of the chat, she is even more puzzled. Lapis Lazuli.

 

[Lapis]      Hey.

[Lapis]      U still up?

 

Why is she texting her? _HER, PERIDOT_?

 

[Peridot]   Hey

[Peridot]   Yeah, what’s up?

 

What could they even talk about? Lapis is a psychology major, while Peridot majors in Computer Engineering. She’s prone to swimming and sports in general, Peridot dreads even a 20min bike ride.

 

[Lapis]      U looked sad after mrs. quartz’ lesson today

[Lapis]      just wanted to check if u’re ok

 

Peridot’s heart starts to flutter. Did she really look that sad before? And … Lapis is worried about her?

 

[Peridot]   It’s okay I guess.

[Peridot]   Busy week, busy life.

[Lapis]      So it got nothing to do with jasper?

 

As soon as the notice pops up on her screen, Peridot freezes. How did she find out? Did she see them together yesterday?

 

[Peridot]   What do you mean?

[Lapis]      Well … I saw her trying to sell this power bank that seemed so familiar to me …

[Lapis]      And later she asked me out to see a movie with her … La La Land …

[Lapis]      And then today you mysteriously can’t come to said film, although you seemed to be looking forward to it …

 

She didn’t figure Lapis to be that … observing.

 

[Peridot]   …

[Peridot]   Please don’t tell anyone.

 

That’s all she is able to say really. Lapis hit the nail right on the head, there was no point denying it.

 

[Lapis]      …

[Lapis]      Peridot, it’s okay.

[Lapis]      I don’t wanna get you into trouble, but pls know you’re not alone.

[Peridot]   Still being bullied in college and not being able to do anything isn’t okay in my book.

[Peridot]   But I’ll do something … just have to figure out what …

[Lapis]      How about I’m trying to help?

 

Specifically Lapis? Not “us”, not the group or a teacher – she referred to _herself_ helping Peridot.

 

[Peridot]   … do you have something in mind?

[Lapis]      Well …

[Lapis]      You missed that movie because of her.

[Lapis]      How about I’ll show you a different one to make up for it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was my very first attempt at writing a fic (well ... the first that I managed to get to a publish-worthy level)!  
> I wrote this while being sick and needing a distraction from just lying in bed all day, feeling like dying ... so I hope that didn't alter my perception too much and I didn't upload total garbage (๑´･Δ･｀๑)  
> I have no idea of the American school system, so it’ll all be a mishmash of stuff I picked up from TV and movies, and our school system in Germany.
> 
> I have some more ideas for this story, but I *really* can’t guarantee I’ll update this, let alone update regularly, since I’m a) not an experienced writer and b) a perfectionist but stressed out college student …
> 
> Either way, I hope you liked it! And if/when I do decide to update, you’ll maybe sneak a peek again :3  
> Feel free to leave a comment!
> 
> P.S.  
> The title of the fic is a reference to the song “City of Stars” from the movie “La La Land”  
> The title of the chapter is also a reference to a different musical. I’ll elaborate on that in the next chapter, but feel free to guess :3


	2. Them Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot has a plan how to deal with Lapis. Lapis has a plan of her own.  
> They're dorks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up: There are *no* spoilers for the movie “La La Land” in this chapter!

Communication was never Peridot’s strong-suit. She likes to cut to the chase, talk about what’s really going on, instead of hiding behind phrases and social constructs on what she can and cannot say to which person. In turn this tends to make her seem cold or tactless for most people when first getting to know her; only over time one might understand her way of talking as it’s meant to be – as a conversation on equal footing ~~despite her minimal height of course~~. That is, if other’s take the time to get to know the rational-driven blonde.

Still, it’s the reason why Peridot feels more comfortable in groups than on her own in private conversations. She’s not constantly put on the spot, her “distanced” personality won’t come out as strong and she can observe and think about her actions beforehand more carefully.

In the course of _carefully_ thinking about her actions regarding Lapis’ text last night, however, she short-circuited and settled on the renowned art of ghosting; a nearly effortless act, consisting of closing their chat and not replying to the blue-haired’s proposition. Definitely not one of her smoothest moves to date. Especially since Lapis is in the very same friend group as her …

“Guess I have to ditch the rest of my friends now, too …”, Peridot deliberates while chaining her bike in front of the school the next day. But since that’s neither an effective nor pleasant solution … she figures she has to find another way to spare herself and Lapis most of the awkwardness that would definitely ensue with them doing something together – just the two of them. While, really, only being acquaintances rather than friends.

It’s all Steven’s fault to be honest. “Clody, overly-friendly little … cutie”, why does he have to be so nice to total strangers and consequently bring them into her life as well? Granted, she would’ve probably never talked to the people she now calls friends if it wasn’t for him … but enough is enough, isn’t it? Why change a running system?

Anyway, her plan is to just claim she fell asleep before she was able to get back to Lapis. Nice and simple. And believable at that. Then just some small-talk about the movie she herself couldn’t go to and likely Lapis will have forgotten about the whole “watching a movie together”-ordeal. No chance to eff up this friendship before it even began.

Content with her decision for now, she climbs the stairs to the school building and looks forward to a quiet morning with no emotional drama, engulfed in nothing but simple numbers – until she meets the others at lunch of course.

 

* * *

 

By noon, the sun starts to show itself a little more, though sporadic. Peridot sighs and closes her books as the teacher at the front of the room dismisses the students.

“Hey, P-Dot!”, she hears coming from the door.

“And now for something completely different”, being snatched away from her clean and logical world of computers and numbers – sharp cut to the world of Amethyst, ruled by randomness and weird nicknames. To be honest, she’s used to it by now, it became their usual routine on a Wednesday. Amethyst had classes nearby and would pick her up on her way to the cafeteria.

Peridot swings her bag over her shoulder and gives the other girl an acknowledging nod, “Morning, Amethyst!” She sports her usual black leggings and favorite ankle boots to a fashionable ripped tank top.

Walking out and making their way through the long halls, Amethyst nonchalantly drapes her arm around Peridot’s shoulder. “So, you really didn’t miss much yesterday”, the equally small girl starts talking.

“The film? Critics said it was good …”, meanwhile Peridot is wearily aware of how their contact messes up her already non-existent balance. Her vision is fixed on her own feet and it takes a lot of concentration just to not fall flat on her face.

“Yeaaah …”, the Latina draws out that sound, “The music was kinda catchy and Emma Stone’s nice to look at, but it’s over two flipping hours long! And nothing happens! Nada!”

A sudden impact pulls her Amethyst-free shoulder back as the blonde is heavily jostled by a passing student. Peridot quickly turns her head, only to catch a well too familiar smug grin leaving in the opposite direction.

“Dude, watch it!”, her companion deadpans simultaneously, clearly not recognizing the malicious intent, which Peridot’s grateful for at the moment. Her eyes find the ground again and Amethyst continues, “It was just talking, then singing, then talking … and singing. Totally boring!”

“Isn’t that all musicals basically?”

“Probably why I don’t really like the genre anyways. Too much feelings, too less happening”, they enter the cafeteria and due to the huge crowd of people, Amethyst finally lets go of the other girl’s shoulder.

Now that Peridot can free herself from the sight of her shoes, which were getting pretty tedious by this time, she raises her head to see their usual table already housing a few people. And suddenly … if her body wasn’t stiff from the encounter with Jasper prior, it would’ve definitely been now. When she spots a tuft of blue hair in the same direction, an explicit amount of her believed-to-be trained down social anxiety comes crashing down on her. How could she forget that she has this mess to deal with?

Amethyst recklessly tears through the crowd with a loud “Sup, nerds!” and settles besides Sadie, leaving the only empty spot at the table, on Sadie’s other side, to Peridot – coincidentally exactly in front of Lapis Lazuli.

“Just my luck …”, the blonde mumbles to herself as she approaches the others and sits down as well. She tries her hardest to avoid direct eye contact with the bluenette, without making it seem like she’s ignoring her – does that even make sense? “Just act natural for Pete’s sake!”

“Where’s Pearl?”, Amethyst asks with a tinge of gloominess in her voice.

A rather deep voice simply and matter-of-factly answers “Dance practice.” Peridot didn’t look up, but the heavy British accent instantly revealed it to be Garnet. Fading out Amethyt’s rumbling and some interjections from the other’s, she rummages around her bag for her lunch, which made an awesome cover from Lapis’ eyes she feels lingering on her. Maybe she’s imagining things but she doesn’t want to confirm it.

Until she finds the sandwich she was looking for and gets back to being part of the conversation again; it wasn’t planned, but when two light grey eyes, which were already piercing and show-stopping on their own, look your way, it’s basic instinct for yours to connect.

This startles her enough to slightly choke on the very first bite she took. “Great way to not draw attention to you, Greene”, she reprimands herself, having not only the bluenette’s eyes on her now. Sadie turns around to softly pet her back. Coughing and starting to flush red, she decides the most elegant way to distract from her struggle was to change the subject. “So how was ‘La La Land’? You all went yesterday, didn’t you?”, she manages to get out between coughs.

A small silence settles after that sentence, every single awkward second letting Peridot become more and more hot as it went on.

“It had beautiful scenery. The usage of the musical motifs were quite touching, towards the end in particular”, in that moment, Peridot loves Garnet for her straight mannerisms. The taller woman’s face didn’t show any emotion, but she always had this knowing mystique around her; she could probably tell there was a reason for Peridot to direct the conversation as she did and she just played along with it, without making this even more awkward.

As Peridot’s coughs start to calm down, Sadie slowly draws her hands back. “Well, you may will hear that the story’s bad, which … yeah, it wasn’t some early M.-Night-Shymalan-twist, but that wasn’t the film’s intention anyway.”

“It was boring”, Amethyst repeats her statement from earlier.

Apparently triggered by that comment, Steven finally springs to action, “It’s was such a cute love story! Bittersweet, but so beautiful!”, he actually seems like he has stars in his eyes as he continues, “It really felt like a real-life musical … only on film!”

“… that made you just wanna jump up and dance!”, Peridot stiffs a little bit at Lapis’ voice when she adds, “The first scene! Such a massive crowd and everybody was smiling and singing and dancing … it was really a hard time having to stay in that chair and not dance along …”, a smile is plastered all over her face and Peridot strangely feels like the heat rising to her cheeks again.

“Pff”, Amethyst just dismisses all the praise and lets her head fall onto her supporting hand in a bored and defeated way. “Anyway, Garnet, I think we gotta get going!” Garnet only nods, lifts her tray and gets up to properly store it away. “Hey, I didn’t mean we have to be that on time! Bye guys!”, with that she quickly grabs her bag and leaves as well.

“I should be going, too. Work’s calling and I have to get Lars before he ‘forgets’ his shift again …”, Sadie already stands beside the table, tray in hand – Peridot didn’t even notice her getting up.

Steven jumps up, “That’s in the same direction as the lab building, right? Then I can accompany you half-way! I’ve been meaning to pick up Connie there anyways!”

This is happening too fast. If she doesn’t do anything soon, she’ll be alone with Lapis and …

“See you tomorrow, Peridot! Bye, Lapis!”, a cheerful voice throws their way.

“Bye, guys!”, Sadie follows.

The smaller girl’s eyes trace the leaving pair a little too long before landing back on her sandwich, still trying to escape these grey eyes, although that is very much impossible by now.

She tries, and fails, to put enough emphasis in her following mumbling, “I-I think I should also go … to the library and learn …”

“So, about that movie …”, Lapis doesn’t play along. She definitely doesn’t play along and Peridot loathes it … though she appreciates her not beating around the bush – like she herself does right now. Wow, good job, Peri.

Maybe there was still a way to mint this to the film yesterday and not her future plans she was trying to avoid, “Yeah, you went with Jasper, didn’t you?” The price she had to pay was having to let that bitter name roll off her tongue as smoothly and unsuspiciously as possible. Is that really worth it?

Finally having the courage to look up from her half-eaten sandwich, she’s met with a slightly confused look on Lapis’ face. You could nearly pin-point the moment she connected the dots, when she breaks out in a light giggle. “Oh, jealous already?”

Again, that heat in her cheeks and her answer comes instantly, “I’m not …!”

“I’m kidding!”, she still hasn’t stopped giggling and Peridot opts out to quietly take another bite instead of embarrassing herself more. “No, I didn’t go with her. Would’ve been weird with the whole class sitting right there on the other side of the room.”

Peridot just gives a small sound of acknowledgement.

“The movie was way too romantic anyway … really a movie you have to watch with good friends or a significant other – or other film freaks to nitpick and gush over it” – was that a subtle hint?

“So I take it you’re fond of musicals in general?”

“Oh yeah, wanna watch one with me?”

Peridot can’t believe it. She gives a finger and this girl is constantly taking her whole hand. Dumbstruck, she’s staring blankly at the other girl, the sandwich now forgotten.

“You’re _very_ direct, you know that? Like _really_ _very_ direct.”

“I figured you’re the direct type. And over the past few weeks of getting to know you – more or less – I came to know that you need a little nudge to come out of your shell.” – how can this girl read her so well?

“Okay, maybe so …”, she hesitates, “hypothetically … what would you want to show me?”

“’Singin’ in the Rain’”, the answer comes fast.

“You thought about it already?”

“It’s a classic.”

“That movie’s old.”

“Have you watched it yet?”

“No …”, apart from the literal “Singing in the rain”-scene …

“Then let’s watch it together!”

“Why ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ though?”, if she was that set on that one movie it had to have a reason behind it.

“Well … ‘La La Land’ is a love letter to modern Hollywood … and ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ is telling the story of the first non-silent movies, basically the beginning of Hollywood … they’re two sides of the same medal”, Lapis starts playing with one of her blue locks, “Also they’re both musicals with a romantic undertone. So I thought it’s an awesome replacement for the one you missed …”, ending that sentence by letting her lock fall and giving Peridot a small smile.

That’s … actually a really sweet and well-thought-out idea of her … is she actually considering going through–

“Okay”, the single word just slips through her lips without her even thinking about what she said.

“Okay?”, Lapis’ whole aura seems to light up instantaneously.

“Yeah, why not?”, Peridot’s mouth has an agenda of its own. Her mind can’t keep up with it but even if it did, it wouldn’t know how to respond.

“Cool, are you free this afternoon?”

“I mean … I guess …”, her confidence is slowly dwindling, now that it all starts to become real.

In a swift motion, Lapis stands up, “Then lets get going! My flat isn’t too far away and, as you just heard, my roommates won’t be there to bother us for the next few hours!”

Peridot’s thoughts were still lagging when Lapis grabbed her hand and pulled her up to her feet and out of the cafeteria.

Her mind was racing. Before a few weeks ago they didn’t even know each other’s names, despite going to the same college for over a year. Until yesterday they haven’t talked a single word in private. And now this tall ~~beautiful~~ woman is holding her hand and they’re going to watch a movie together. At her house. Alone.

Relationships are hard and scary … and sometimes pretty confusing.

 

* * *

 

Lapis' room is surprisingly clean – not in a sense that there isn’t a big mess. Books and papers and clothes are scattered all across the floor, which Lapis quickly and uncaringly stuffs in her wardrobe. No, clean in a sense of style. Simple, white shelfs; one on the wall, holding books and a vast number of differently colored glasses, a small one dividing the already small room in two. The only sparks of color being the various posters on the walls, the blue-colored swivel chair in the corner, and her blue bedding.

There wasn’t enough time to take it all in, however, as Lapis had already pulled up her laptop and sat herself on her bed, looking over at Peridot.

“Come on over! I didn’t prepare any snacks, but at least the bed’s comfy af!”, she says and pats the spot beside her.

Peridot lets her backpack sink to the ground and shuffles over to sit beside the tanned girl. With a moderate distance between the two of course. Lapis waits for her to find a comfortable position and then only smiles and starts the film.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah, this became waaay longer than I thought it would be :o  
> Before I say anything else, just a quick heads up that I changed Lapis’ major from arts to psychology!
> 
> Gosh, that multi-character conversation killed me … why did I decide to do this in my second ever written chapter? Probably cause I’m a masochistic perfectionist and thought it was a great way to introduce more characters without it seeming too forced … also living for that awkwardness.  
> Anyway, hope it worked out okay and was good to read :3
> 
> P.S.  
> As promised, the explanation of the first chapter’s title: It’s the song “Good Morning” from the Musical “Singing in the Rain” – wouldn’t have wanted to spoil that one^^ also thought it’d be fitting to the “new beginning” aka this fanfic’s start :)
> 
> P.P.S.  
> This chapter’s title refers to a song from the soundtrack of “The Help”, my absolute favorite movie and I believe the first one that made me cry actual tears in my late teens/early adult life. When I bought the DVD I went a week watching it *at least* twice a day. I wish I was exaggerating, believe me.  
> The track’s from one of the most heart-warming but at the same time heart rending scenes in the movie. Though I enjoy the superficial aspect of the title referring to our lovely dorks as “Them Fools” as well^^


	3. This is going to be just like senior year, only funner!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis gets Peridot to watch a movie with her.  
> Also Amethyst has a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up: Some minor spoilers for the movie “Singin’ in the Rain”, but c’mon it’s from 1952 and not that plot-driven.

For some, taking their time to sit down and enjoy a good movie is a rare treat. Maybe it’s a film they’ve been waiting to finally watch for months or even years. Maybe they heard or read good things that peaked their interest, maybe they only want to know what all the fuss is about. Maybe it’s the adaption of an awesome book, maybe even their favorite, and they can’t wait to compare.

For some, movies play in the background while they’re doing something completely different. To calm their nerves or to shut out the silence. Maybe they couldn’t care less; maybe the story or characters aren’t to their liking, maybe they were forced into watching, maybe because they have something more important on their mind.

For Peridot, she isn’t used to watching a movie alone with somebody she’s never really spoke to before – let alone all that on her bed, just mere inches apart. And though she loves diving into stories, giving in to the fantasy, while also being struck by the camera work and _how_ the story is told, it’s pretty hard to focus this time.

This wasn’t Lapis’ first time watching the movie, that much was obvious; every second song or so she couldn’t refrain herself from singing along the words. Not that it mattered to Peridot or annoy her, it’s just that she didn’t expect her to be so good at it. Especially the few ballads were particularly beautifully sung … and Peridot found herself struggling to follow the story at these times; she didn’t let it show, keeping her gaze mostly glued to the laptop, but out of the corner of her eyes she could see Lapis doing small gestures as well, reminiscents of dance moves she supposed.

It was distracting in an irritating way, though somehow she didn’t feel the need to voice these thoughts.

Apart from the musical aspect, Peridot didn’t expect an old movie like that to be funny in the slightest to modern audiences. Throughout the movie, neither of them really talked, but a few giggles escaped here and there from the both of them. At first, the blonde tried to bottle it up as to not disturb their silence … until Lapis allowed herself to and the other shyly followed suit. Over time it actually worked to reduce Peridot’s strain and soften the mood.

As the credits start rolling, the usually stoic shorty actually has a small tear in her eye from the cheesy ending. Fortunately it’s on the side that’s facing away from Lapis, which made it easier to blink it away without her noticing.

Speaking of the blue-haired women, she’s suddenly turning her head to face Peridot head-on, “So, what do you think?”, she smiles the same little smile she did in the cafeteria and Peridot has to consciously remind herself that she’s supposed to give an answer.

“It was so cheesy!”, what could’ve sounded like a critique is actually accompanied by a slight giggle from the blonde, making Lapis’ smile grow wider.

“I know, right? But that’s a thing I love so much about it! The ‘Good Morning’ scene? At days when I can’t get out of bed in the morning, it’s one of the only songs that get me motivated!”

Just now Peridot notices the extent of her own smile, but can’t really do anything about it. She tries hard to keep it down and states with a forced-monotone voice, “And ‘I can’t make love to a bush’ is such a mood”, falling into a fit of giggles right after.

“So refreshing to see you not totally uptight”, Lapis teases with a smirk.

“Well …”, feeling heat rise to her cheeks, she tries to ignore the remark and gain the upper hand in the conversation, “if you want me to be serious, I could start talking about how creepy and predatory some of Don’s advances on Kathy were.” A discussion about feminism. How romantic.

“You could, and you wouldn’t be wrong about it, but I don’t think it’s that black and white … no pun intended.”

“He jumped into her car mid-traffic. And when she learned he was a known face and not dangerous per se and started to relax, he just put his arm around her shoulder and got very close, despite her obviously being uncomfortable with it”, that scene really surprised her and she just can’t let the topic go. In a sense, she wants to tell herself to shut up, not to make a big scene in front of Lapis. For crying out loud, this girl was so courteous, if a bit obtruding _~~for a good reason~~_ , and here she was, running down a movie Lapis clearly loved.

Surprisingly, the other one put on a thoughtful face, but without any hint of hurt or discomfort, “To be honest, that startled me a bit, too, especially after all these sexual harassment cases lately … my take on it is that they intended to show him with an abnormal and unjustified ego, just to put him in his place right after. I mean, Kathy is characterized to be a pretty strong woman, she’s not fazed by him and even after she finds out about him being famous, she’s not starstruck, even questioning his profession and talent.”

“For which he makes fun of her.”

“And then the movie decides to hit him with karma and rip his suit apart”, again a simple smirk from Lapis.

“And what about the party, when she’s–”, Peridot wishes she could stop, but her mouth isn’t having it. At least Lapis doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.

The bluenette looks down to her hands and searches for the right words, “She’s new in Hollywood. She takes the art very seriously, but obviously no star is born overnight, and sometimes you just have to do a job you hate to gather the resources to do what you love. They’re both stuck up in their own way and like to criticize the other for being pretentious”, she takes a small break to collect her thoughts, her eyes look up again, catching Peridot’s as she continues, “The movie itself kinda shows both of them in a bad light at first. And over time, they overthink their actions, start to sympathize for each other’s positions and literally start to work together. In an overly schmaltzy way, yeah, but everyone gets what’s coming for them.”

Peridot lets Lapis’ monologue sink in for a second as she stares in her eyes. Huh. Normally keeping eye-contact for that long would be straining for her, but her stare and their conversation is too captivating for her to really care. “Hmm, I guess I see where you’re coming from …”, okay _now_ after sharing that thought maybe a tiny break from the eye-contact would be lovely … her gaze wanders through the room and she discovers that even Lapis’ rug is a dark shade of royal blue … what’s up with this girl and the color blue?

“In the end, it’s no social commentary. It’s a musical slash comedy. And for it being from the 50s, it’s really awesome that they had such strong women in there. It even passes the Bechdel test!”, Lapis proclaims happily as Peridot seemingly stopped functioning.

The hint of sarcasm in Lapis’ voice is what brings Peridot back to the conversation. “Seriously? The Bechdel test?”, she asks unbelieving.

“Barely”, was that a wink?, “Baby steps, Peri, baby steps. Not everything and everyone can change just like that, it’s a progress.”, with that she grabs the laptop and gets up on her feet to put it on her desk.

“I suppose so …”, Peridot watches her elegant movements.

“I just love the happy-go-lucky music and dance numbers – also have you noticed Donald O’Connor’s eyes? They’re so beautifully light and blue, I was so in love with them when I was little …”

“Some of them were very well choreographed … but what was that about with that one that took an eternity? Near the end, you know?”

Lapis let her hand mindlessly glide over the books on her shelf, “Ah, yeah, it felt kinda thrown in, simply to show off Kelly’s dancing skills … or like a trip of some sorts”, a little chuckle at the end.

“It was weird … well, if I could dance like that, I suppose I would also show off every chance that I get, but …”, her words are left hanging in the air as she follows Lapis’ movements with her eyes.

“So we’re going dancing next?”, making her way back from the desk to the door, her smile still hasn’t left her face, though every ounce of that heavy conversation topic vanished completely.

It takes a few seconds for Peridot to snap out of it and process what Lapis has just insinuated, but when she does, a rose tint quickly spreads around her cheeks. “Hey, where are you going?”, she jumps off from the bed and is ready to follow her. Strangely, she wants to hear more of Lapis’ opinions, no matter the topic. Hopefully Lapis stays as talkative as she is now, because when it’s up to the blonde to hold up the conversation, they’ll be right back to pure awkwardness again in no time.

“I didn’t prepare snacks, but I thought it’d be time for a meal by now. It’s dark outside already”, she opens the door and sets foot in the hallway/kitchen of their shared apartment, “We don’t have anything fancy, but care for some pasta and cheese?”

 “Sounds good to me!”, Peridot steps inside the room as well. Lapis rummages around several shelfs to collect various cooking utensils as Peridot takes the time to take in the space she previously was too in over her head to notice anything about.

It’s a relatively large hall connecting all the rooms of the three roommates, as well as the bathroom of course. Though considering the kitchen and a table to eat on were sharing the place, it doesn’t seem too large to her after a moment. Everything is rather plain and old; definitely hand-me-downs from previous owners or the landlord and not updated for at least a decade. On the wall over the table hang three photographs showing Lapis, Amethyst and Garnet – Peridot knew they were roommates for some time now, however she didn’t know they occasionally did stuff together without the rest of their friend group …

Just at that moment the front door suddenly swings open and two all-too familiar faces enter. Garnet is her usual stoic self, her shades concealing every speck of emotion there was left – meaning every speck Peridot assumed was there to begin with.

“Good evening, you two”, the giant says, no intonation whatsoever, though Peridot could feel her eyes linger a bit longer on her than she might have liked. Then she makes a swift turn and stands beside Lapis, immediately attempting to help with the food.

“Sup, Lapis”, Amethyst seems down somehow, her usually over-enthusiastic voice not nearly as loud– “Hey Peridot!”, until she notices the unusual houseguest and takes a few quick steps to give her a high-five. “Didn’t expect you to be here!”

“Evening, guys!”, Lapis greets her roommates while preparing stuff over the kitchen counter.

The tiny room starts to feel too crowded for Peridot’s liking and if that wasn’t enough, Amethyst draped her arm over her shoulder again.

“Dude, awesome timing, I have something I have to talk to you about!”, the equally-short girl says to Peridot, not too loud but definitely with a normal amount of enthusiasm back in its place. Lapis looks over her shoulder, locking eyes with Peridot. She couldn’t quite make out what the taller girl’s expression tried to convey, it’s way too subtle, she can only tell something’s off, before Amethyst continues, “Under four eyes. Let’s get dinner!”

A bit overwhelmed and still trapped in Lapis’ gaze, Peridot strives to collect her thoughts again. “Sure”, is her short answer. As much as she would’ve liked to stay and talk with Lapis, their sole togetherness was ruined anyway, and whatever Amethyst wanted to talk about, it seems somewhat urgent, Lapis will understand. It’s not like they wouldn’t ever meet and have the chance to talk again.

Wiggling out of Amethyst’s grip, Peridot makes her way to Lapis’ room to get her bag. Behind her back, Lapis gives Garnet a quick look, before quietly going back to finishing what she’s started.

“Sorry, Lapis! The movie was awesome, thanks for the evening!”, Peridot forces out in passing, again trying to avoid looking at the other woman out of fear of getting hit with even more guilt.

“’tis okay, seems like I’ve found another person to share the food with!”, Lapis answers with a smile, nodding to Garnet. “And apparently we already have plans for next time, sooo …”, she leaves on that note, which manages to get Peridot to look at her at last, one foot already out the door.

“… Sure”, nope, not gonna happen. She knows now that Lapis is insistent when trying to archive her goal, but there was nothing she could do to make her dance. Still, appeased with Lapis not seeming to be bothered by her spontaneous change in plans, Peridot gives her a genuine smile, “Bye!”

And with that both shorties vanish in the night.

 

* * *

 

It took them only a small bus ride to get to the nearest Chipotle, their usual meeting spot, apart from the campus.  Any other day Peridot wouldn’t have questioned their trip; Amethyst always was an impulsive person. But since asking her on the bus, what she wanted to talk about, resulted in the blonde being shushed and the other only loudly philosophizing about what she would order once they arrive, Peridot figured there had to be something more to it. Amethyst is a weird person, but this was an unusual behavior even for her. For the time being, Peridot decided to drop the topic; Amethyst came up with it herself in the first place, so they’d come to it sooner or later, she figured.

When they finally sit down, Peridot with her taco in hand, Amethyst with a Chicken Torta, the former prepares for any monologue that may come her way.

Amethyst looks at the sandwich a bit too long as if deliberating what to say. “You know, thinking about it …”, she sighs, “… maybe we should’ve just bought taco shells and joined Lapis and Garnet for some spaghetti tacos."

Well, this didn’t go as expected. “Spaghetti … tacos?”, Peridot repeats hesitantly.

“Yeah, they’re awesome! Haven’t eaten them in a while, but seeing Lapis cooking noodles and your taco just now got the fantasy going!”, she takes a big bite out of her sandwich and lets her eyes wander around the room.

“Not the weirdest thing I’ve seen you eat, but I’m still perplexed. Please tell me that wasn’t what you wanted to talk about”, the last part being a genuine plea. Peridot also takes a bite from her taco. Why did she order this again? She’s always too clumsy to eat it without half of the contents landing on her plate … sole power of its amazing taste, probably.

“Naaah …”, Amethyst’s eyes are locked on something behind Peridot, “Dude, I really think I’m getting sick, something’s off.”

“Hmm …”, beating around the bush really isn’t Amethyst’s thing, she’s making this way tougher than it has to be. But why? “I’m not a doctor, either, y’know?”, Peridot jokes between chews.

Amethyst’s eyes suddenly land directly on Peridot. “You’re an idiot, you know _that_?”, it isn’t with ill intention, Peridot could tell, but the way she said it makes the situation way more intense in an instant. This isn’t like the laid back Amethyst she knew – what happened? After a moment her stare softens again, “Sorry, I’m just kinda on edge the last few days. I just see … all these people doing stuff, being productive, and I’m sitting here … making spaghetti tacos or just slacking off …”

“Has the graveness of adulthood finally caught you? Maybe you could start choosing a major and, y’know, having a set focus and goal? Maybe that would help …”, Peridot is bad at consoling, she knows that, all she _can_ do is giving an insight on what _she_ would do if she found herself in a situation like that … hopefully it somewhat helps.

“Nah, not that, I’m in no rush”, Amethyst surprisingly deadpans and a glimpse of her relaxed self comes back to show. “I haven’t found my true passion yet, but when I do, I’ll be like that blonde in that movie; she made her bachelor’s in fashion and then went on to be a super successful lawyer! A linear CV is pretty boring anyways.”

Wow. In a weird way Peridot envies her laid-back-ness. Personally, she stresses out a lot about her future – probably too much at times … stop! This is about Amethyst, stop giving in to your fears at such crucial times! “Super successful?”

“Dunno, haven’t watched the second one, but in the first one she won the case! It just took her … a lot of work …”, coming down from the short burst of energy, the Latina looks back on her empty plate. Wait, when did she finish the sandwich?

“Following your logic, I believe when you really find something you’re passionate about, you’ll have no problem gathering the discipline to put in the work”, that sounded like a sound advice, at least in her head, “Not everybody can be like Pearl and have their whole life figured out at twenty-four.”

Amethyst’s head shoots upwards again; Peridot believes she’s never seen the other woman this serious before. “Gosh, did you _have to_ mention her now?”

Peridot feels like a deer caught in headlights. What exactly _did_ she say just now that made Amethyst explode that way? She doesn’t know how to reply to an outburst like that; wishing she could use her usual method of distraction, but even taking a bite out of her food seems like a bad idea right now.

Luckily she doesn’t have to wait long before Amethyst’s facial expression softens and she leans back into her chair, “Sorry …”, her eyes are lowered to her hands in her lap, voice close to a whisper without the sneakiness, “She … it’s a touchy subject …”

Seems like they’ve finally reached the root of the matter. “Soo … I’m guessing that’s the real reason you wanted to talk today?”

“Yes … and no … see, there’s stuff bothering me right now …”, she seems at a loss for words, looking up at the ceiling for once, in a searching manner.

“Clearly …”, Peridot mutters as Amethyst’s  pause stretches.

This brings her back to the present, “I don’t really wanna talk about it to be honest. It’s been a hard day, it’s been a couple of hard weeks and I just wanted to not feel down, you know? Guess I wanted to just take my mind off of things when asking you to get dinner …”

Peridot takes a second to take in the massive mood swing just now, also trying to follow Amethyst’s reasoning. “Well, I’d love to help you, Amethyst. But if you don’t want to talk about it for now …”, the other meets her gaze again, her eyes tired but not strained anymore, “Just know I’m here when you decide that you need someone to talk to …” Those words feel so icky on her tongue, but they’re genuine and she feels like Amethyst needs to hear them right now.

Amethyst cracks a weak smile, “Way to be mushy, P-Dot.”

“I-I’m just trying to be helpful, leave me alone”, a pout makes it onto Peridot’s face, though only partly serious.

“Thanks anyways”, Amethyst lightly boxes her shoulder as she stands up, “let’s get going, I think I’m over Mexican food for the night!”

Peridot hastily picks up her bag, stuffing the last bit of taco into her mouth and following Amethyst through the door.

That’s just always been their way of handling things. They’re both not the type to talk about their feelings a lot, which made conversations like this always a bit awkward for the both of them. But in a nice way.

 

* * *

 

They parted ways at the bus stop; Amethyst didn’t have to wait too long for a bus to arrive and Peridot only had a few blocks to walk to her apartment. After they said their goodbyes, Peridot puts her headphones in and starts moving at a rattling pace as a light drizzle had begun to fall.

Listening to Hayley Kiyoko’s soft voice in her ears, she consciously takes in the chilling breeze and the freezing droplets landing on her hair and face. It’s definitely getting time to stop wearing only flannels outside, even just a beanie would be nice right about now ... her thoughts start to drift …

This was … a day …

She’s never seen Amethyst like that before … hopefully things will fall into place on their own. Although Amethyst has thick skin; she always seems so chill and unserving, even when worst comes to worst, somehow she always manages to handle it. Still, a gossipy curiosity creeps up on Peridot, but she knows it’s not her place. If Amethyst really wanted or needed to talk about whatever bothered her, she would. All in due time. Or not. As simple as that.

The drizzle slowly changes into a light rain, puddles forming on the sidewalk – and Peridot’s sneakers start to get soaked. Somehow she doesn’t mind. Sure it was freezing and a slight shiver runs down her spine already, but it feels like her energy to even get annoyed was completely exhausted. It’s a familiar phenomenon to her; friends are awesome and spending time with them is great – contrary to all expectations, she even handled the meeting with Lapis without embarrassing herself enough to have to move to a whole other country. Yet. It’s just … energy-sapping. And there is nowhere she would rather be now than her own four walls.

Through the rain she’s sprinting for the last block, eagerly kicking off her shoes after closing the front door. She carelessly strips off the wet flannel and throws it in the laundry basket, then letting herself bounce onto the bed without much grace. She really deserves some alone-time and video games right about now … although staying in bed and giving in to sleep also sounds enticing … her eyelids close, breathing slowing down …

Apart from the exhaustion she feels weirdly content, like she accomplished … something. An ever so subtle smile settles on her lips that she herself doesn’t notice.

Suddenly a thought invades her mind like a piercing arrow.

“I should text Lapis.”

She _did_ kind of ditch her … and right after the athlete was so nice and attentive to her. The blonde doesn’t admit it to herself, but she really enjoyed their get-together and wouldn’t be opposed to a timely recurrence … but what should she say? She already apologized and asking for another meeting right away would be coming on too strong, wouldn’t it?

Unlocking her phone, she opens Lapis’ chat and is struck with another rush of guilt. Their last conversation ended with Peridot ceasing to answer. Wow, what a great starting point. That makes things a lot easier.

She left her hanging at dinner … maybe she could suggest getting dinner together sometime? No, that would sound like she has ulterior motives … what about lunch? Nah, they had lunch nearly every day together with the others, so that would seem weird as well …

She already used all the funny one-liners from the movie to start conversations – also that’s lame, what’s she supposed to answer to that? … and she surely isn’t going to elaborate on that dancing offer; Lapis had to be joking with that one, there is no other explanation.

Shoot! Being friendly and forthcoming definitely isn’t as easy as Steven makes it seem to be. Why is this so hard?!

After staring at the screen for what felt like an hour, Peridot’s fingers quickly roam over the keys, any critical thoughts being shut down as forcefully as possible.

 

[Peridot]   Hey, good evening :)

[Peridot]   Hope your dinner was ok, even without the great and loveable Peridot to accompany it.

[Peridot]   As I said, the movie was nice. Thanks again!

 

That sounds like a normal human conversation between friends, right? Nope, it doesn’t. It’s completely forced and Lapis will probably not want anything to do with the blonde after a day like this. At least not the two of them together. Well, at least it isn’t too awkward, she doesn’t have to drop her friend group altogether.

Or maybe she’s just blowing this out of proportion like she always does. She most definitely is. But after grinding her brain cells for so long for a simple freaking text message and the entire day she survived, she’s too anxious to deal with the aftermath.

With a sigh and her heart beating loud enough to numb her ears, she turns off her phone for the night. For the time being she’s satisfied with her decision; she’s better to talk to in person anyway. Not by a whole lot, but a little bit.

While changing into her PJs, the little nervous smile never left her as well as the restricted desire to turn her phone back on in the hopes that Lapis had answered already … but what if she didn’t?

Her eyes closed as soon as her head hit the pillow, her dreams full of singing and rain … and dominantly the color blue …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alice at it again with changing stuff mid-story; I changed the rating from General to Teens, not necessarily because of this chapter, but because of some topics I want to touch on in the future. Also added more tags and a longer summary ~
> 
> The title this time: No, I didn’t make a typo, the line comes from the movie “Legally Blonde”, the same movie Amethyst is referring to when she talks with Peridot. I recently watched it for the first time and debated whether to make Lapis and Peri watch it, too, but tbh though I liked it, I didn’t think it would make for a whole chapter. Still some of the ‘morals’ (or what you wanna call it) reminded me of what I envision this story’s Amethyst to be like; and I hope it somewhat came across in the chapter, although I like to keep stuff like that as short and subtle as possible.  
> Hear it from a 21 y/o girl who studies together with over 30-40 y/o women, who are already mothers and had learned other jobs, and just now had the inspiration to follow down another path when they realized they didn’t like what they did before. It’s never too late to change the plans, it’s never too late to change yourself, you’re not a statue and your life doesn’t have to be a linear river. It might be harder, but in the end it’ll be way funner!
> 
> (psst … Hayley Kiyoko’s “Feelings”, “Girls Like Girls” and “Sleepover” are a big influence on my Lapis and Peri, that’s why I referenced her … recommending it a lot, that’s all I gotta say for now :3)

**Author's Note:**

> By the way; feel free to follow me on tumblr @ someonebutnotyou.tumblr.com  
> You can ask me stuff about the fanfic, about the writing or just enjoy the potpourri of stuff I reblog.
> 
> Have a nice day <3
> 
> *Currently on Hiatus*


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